I am a lost child in an adult's body. pls send help

misterwalrus:

apriki:

moses u little shit

I AM THE 11TH PLAGUE

dilfgod:

bae caught me slippin

dilfgod:

bae caught me slippin

confessionsofarebel:

wirelessinfidelity:

apatheticghost:

boys are so lucky they have boners to tell them that theyre horny because girls are just like am i horny or am i hungry or am i bored i dont know i dont have a dick

That’s definitely an interesting take. But sometimes we get boners for no reason and it’s something like “What is it boy? Did you see something?”

You two are my new favorite people on this site.

aslightlyangryfeminist:

thatsonofamitch:

hitlervevo:

i wanna know the story behind this



















What the FUCK

aslightlyangryfeminist:

thatsonofamitch:

hitlervevo:

i wanna know the story behind this

image

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What the FUCK

FUCK THIS! I’M GOING TO BE A STRIPPER
Says every college student at least once in their academic career

iraffiruse:

Combined Gifs


brokendildo:

my friends cat had surgery and now he has no pants

brokendildo:

my friends cat had surgery and now he has no pants

thebaconsandwichofregret:

tubaplaysmatt:

mailbomb:

stargh0st:

hankpeters:

i’m so fucking pissed off at this picture

wwhat the fuck….



I FUCKING LOVE THIS

oh my god thank you for the second perspective, it honestly makes me feel way less stressed about this image, you have no idea

thebaconsandwichofregret:

tubaplaysmatt:

mailbomb:

stargh0st:

hankpeters:

i’m so fucking pissed off at this picture

wwhat the fuck….

I FUCKING LOVE THIS

oh my god thank you for the second perspective, it honestly makes me feel way less stressed about this image, you have no idea

benepla:

WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE

benepla:

WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE

halorvic:

Give me a minute

halorvic:

Give me a minute

reaill:

grimfemme:

I just wanted to eat breakfast ;(

welp now we know the distinction between the two

sofapizza:

sturmtruppen:

the person pretended to be a goat so the goat pretended to be a person

"look here you dumbshit did you forget how to two-leg"

sofapizza:

sturmtruppen:

the person pretended to be a goat so the goat pretended to be a person

"look here you dumbshit did you forget how to two-leg"

hermionemollycharliepond:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.
First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.
“A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.”
This was a good start.
We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.
“Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—”
“Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.”
“You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?”
He frowned. “Who doesn’t?”
“Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?”
He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?”
We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.”
He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.”
“But I’m not.”
“Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—”
“We’re married!?”
“Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?”
He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.”
We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?”
“Vegetarian.”
“Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.”
“We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.”
“You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.
“They’re your children too!" I screamed back.
He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!”
“Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—”
“I want a divorce!”
And he walked out of the classroom.
The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.”
I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

READ THE WHOLE THING

hermionemollycharliepond:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.

First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.

A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.

This was a good start.

We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.

Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—

Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.

You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?

He frowned. “Who doesn’t?

Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?

He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?

We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.

He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.

But I’m not.

Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—

We’re married!?

Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?

He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.

We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?

Vegetarian.

Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.

We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.

You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.

They’re your children too!" I screamed back.

He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!

Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—

I want a divorce!

And he walked out of the classroom.

The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.

I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

READ THE WHOLE THING

yourscientistfriend:

Ferguson vs Pumpkin fest  The media’s treatment of these two events were shameful!

yourscientistfriend:

Ferguson vs Pumpkin fest
The media’s treatment of these two events were shameful!